There is a brief yet poignant scene from “You’ve Got Mail” where Meg Ryan’s character is alone in front of her laptop, musing if she’s ever been brave.
Really, it’s a snapshot of a writer and their thoughts, alone with the words that they feel compelled to write, yet wondering what may come of them. Most writers will say that a negative review or mean feedback often feels very personal and makes them question their vocation, if not their existence. If many people who endeavor something new feel the pangs of impostor syndrome, for writers I have to think it’s a full-on chronic condition. Each keystroke is intimate and vulnerable, meant to be read, but for the writer, it can be an excruciating exercise.
The very first blog I wrote actually pointed to this “book idea” I had, especially after losing a job. So over the past two years while I’ve entertained and shared thoughts here on Bite Size Brave, I’ve been putting together the words for a “bite size book” I lovingly refer to as my “little Mary book,” more formally named “Highly Favoured Daughter.” (Also the title of the very first blog I wrote.) It was a project that has been in the back of my mind for nearly 30 years, as I became a mom to my own daughter and needed inspiration to live out the vocation in faith.
Readers will know I am a Catholic, but in general this book is not just for those in the faith. Last check, Mary is in everyone’s bible and her story of saying yes to becoming the mother of God is pretty well known. She’s greeted before the announcement with this title (in some translations) of highly favored daughter. That is in itself a unique and weighty title, but my premise is that we all have experienced moments like this, where we are recognized for who we were created to be, not necessarily who we often say we are. (Again, impostor syndrome.)
Several rounds of edits and endless searches for the right cover, and my reflection on Mary’s story and our calling is now a tangible book of about 90 pages. The woman on the cover expresses that moment of “What have I just said yes to?” much as I feel right now. Breath taken away, the decision has been made, and now the real work and sacrifice begins.
As I begin the work of marketing and connecting with people who can help me bring her to people who need to hear the encouragement in a difficult or doubt-filled time, the book also serves as my own reminder of how I need to move forward. As exciting and joyful as it is to be among the 3% of people who actually publish a book they say they want to write, it’s also a big unknown where it will lead and what it will require of me. No lie, it’s terrifying at times, but that’s why my word this year is fear: to recognize it, and to work through it and in spite of it.
If you’ve read enough of these blogs, you know I struggle with that moment of release and surrender, when I just step out of my own way and let things unfold rather than have every last angle figured out. However, when I take in the historical perspective of a young Jewish woman with no station, agreeing to become pregnant before marriage and risking being stoned to death, this new venture pales in comparison. And I know I’m not venturing alone.
The title may seem curious, as it seems to have a typo. Why “Favoured”? Throughout the book the word is favor or favored, the more understood anglicized spelling. However, “favoured” is a spelling often used in formal invitations, like wedding announcements. The book is also the telling of an invitation, and what we’re all invited to become.
There are so many people who have been supportive and loving, and I lean on them all to help me find even more people to support what I’d like to create from this little Mary book, like a workbook that could foster small group discussion. So, I bravely ask your input to find those in ministry that would want to read Highly Favoured Daughter, provide a review, and share it with others.
There is no shameless plug here, at least not in the negative sense, and the book is something I won’t feel shame over. In fact, it’s our own feelings of inadequacies and shame that prevent us from becoming who we were created to be. Whether it’s a pronouncement of something great (like a job promotion or elevation in responsibility we may not have seen coming), or a situation that requires great sacrifice and faith like a medical diagnosis, we have been equipped with the grace and strength to meet it, if we just say yes.
If this is a shameless plug, so be it — or more appropriately, let it be done.
I’m enjoying your book. About half done. The reading is easy, but the thought-provoking is timeless! Congratulations!