I took time in the weeks ahead of Christmas to, well, take…time.
To pay attention to what I may have found irritating and either reframe my mind and my heart, or to choose not to participate, to opt out. No doubt it’s still a demanding time, and for the most part those long-held traditions I’ve taken part in were kept intact, like baking, shopping and even writing Christmas cards.
Along the way, it was disturbing when a morning news show did a poll titled, “Which of these Christmas traditions would you like to get rid of?” Among the choices people could vote on (and I can’t remember them all) were Elf on the Shelf, Christmas cards, Caroling, and Exchanging gifts. While the Elf took the biggest hit and I could see that reaction coming, the others made my heart sigh, and I had some questions…
What has Christmas become for us?
Why are we willing to eliminate traditions that uniquely define Christmas?
What have we said yes to during the Christmas season that make us want to say to no these traditions?
What annoys us so much about tradition… the expectations we place upon ourselves, or the lack of love we seem to feel in practicing them?
I write Christmas cards…every year. This apparently makes me a yuletide dinosaur. It’s one tradition that has become counter-cultural, and I know we are all busy. It takes time and heart to review the addresses, feeling a little melancholy at those still in my address book for people I’ve lost over the past year. I usually add a few, and I count those as new blessings in the current year. It’s a decision I make consciously because I know it’s actually pretty nice to receive a note of love decorated in a humble piece of artwork, perhaps with a little glitter and a bible verse.
Caroling also seems to be an outdated tradition if you think of it only as groups of people clad in Victorian dress, singing along gas-lit streets. Yet singing a carol in front of people assembled in a community room at a memory care facility is often miraculous for those who hear your voices. Precisely what the season is all about.
Exchanging gifts has been a tradition since prior to the original Christmas. It’s a gift that honors the recipient and reflects the love of the giver. Yet somehow it’s now a burden, an annoying task. This one in particular makes me sad as a tradition people want to place on the chopping block. My thought is that if it’s a chore to give a gift, or that you aren’t able to afford what’s on someone’s list, reimagine what it should look like. Your time and your presence is what most people will appreciate the most, and often costs far less than the latest electronic gadget. What if you offered that to someone on your list, regardless of what they asked for? Make them dinner, or invite them over for dessert and coffee, just to spend time with them and talk. Revolutionary.
In any of these traditions, we have a choice. We can pause and decide that December brings us a laundry list of tasks we have to fulfill. Or we can frame those tasks as opportunities to reveal the best of ourselves, and see tasks as something we GET to do more so than at any other time of the year. To become the people we want to be and secretly feel we always could be.
For the first time, I added to my task list and included gifts to people who would never be able to repay me this Christmas. A random small bag of homemade cookies. A ride to the grocery store for a neighbor who can’t drive. A hug and a prayer for someone who was struggling.
None of these things put more money in my pocket, but they did open my heart, and gave me moments where I realized that I, too, needed to slow down and allow the season to steer me back to what it was meant to be.
I know it’s two days after Christmas, and for many, they’re happy it’s in the rearview mirror. Yet it is a season, and it’s never too late to take a beat to re-learn what we loved as children. With the remaining few days of this year, I wish you traditions that bring you moments of love among family and friends, silence in the mystery of what the season is truly about, and deep joy in knowing we are all children at heart.
These are the gifts we all deserve to give ourselves.